I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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