new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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