he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
