please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
