You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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