GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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