he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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