he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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