What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
