I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
