You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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