I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
false alarm. still invincible.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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