I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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