lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
