I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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