Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
