Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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