Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
