Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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