i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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