you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
