If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
