gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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