I hope mine doesn't look like that
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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