Fuck appropriateness.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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