I heard we made out
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize