Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
