Tell her she can't have a vagina
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
