All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
