ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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