Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
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