just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
