its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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