If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
