It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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