Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We just shotgunned beers for America
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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