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I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
