I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
