Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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