My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
