My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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