your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
