Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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