you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
