Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
