Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
