I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Come see our sink grown plant.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I want to fling myself into the sun
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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