my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
