suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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