tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
two words...techno handjob
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Randomize
