So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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