i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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