Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
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