I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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