I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
