you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Randomize
