The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
