Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
