Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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