Pappa wants mamma naked
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
