It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize