Me too!
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
im holly from the hills drunk
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
