Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just found a bag of teeth...
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
