margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
