Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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