You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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