Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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