It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
